Faces in the Hall - GCH

In the midst of going crazy trying to write my paper, I found this song by gym class heroes about homosexuality. It's deep. Travy, will you marry me?

Faces In The Hall - Gym Class Heroes


Faces in the Hall - GCH

I knew this kid named Alberto
Funny style cat
And his girl looked like a turtle
Not Lisa Turtle, just a turtle
High school track
He ran the hurdle
His peers shed tears senior year when he got murdered
Now Alberto was your average A student
Participated in class,
Never came late
And never truant
His family was picture perfect
His older sister was prom queen
His dad a decorated vet from the Vietnam team
His mother was Dear Abby,
An ordinary house wife
Like clockwork, always had dinner on the table at 5
But Alberto had a monster he kept under his bed
Instead of letting it out,
He just got a girlfriend instead
She knew something was funny
She could tell by his behavior
Or the way he flamboyantly shook his hand
When he would wave to her
She thought nothing of it
And just shoved it in the closet
Until the day that word dripped out like leaky faucet
Alberto was homosexual
I ain't have nothing against it
But little Ronnie Johnson and all his football player friends did
They'd always pick and nag
Call him "fag" and such and such
And couldn't wait to get to gym so they could really bust his nuts
The gym teacher never cared
He'd just join in on the action
He'd make silly gestures
And compared him to Micheal Jackson
Alberto couldn't take it
He'd just stop showing up and whenever he walked them halls
He just felt like throwin' up
And night he would cry and cry and ask "God why?"
Like "God, why the fucked I have to be born this way?"
God would reply, "Son, you've gotta show 'em you're more than gay"
Cause he had dreams to be a track star
Until that warm April night
Them gay jokes went way too far
Ronnie begged for his forgiveness
And invited him to a party
Cause his parents went away
And left him plenty of Bacardi
Alberto kindly accepted
He was finally accepted
Except it was all deception
And left them all unprotected
It was a plan Ronnie had scammed
To get him in the right place
Verbally degrade and rearrange his pretty face
The plan would go swiftly
They started calling him sissy
One punch turned into fifty
They beat him till he was dizzy
Now Alberto lie in blood
While his peers look on in fear
He took his last breath
And passed away his senior year

Needless to say
It was one big tragedy
And how was Ronnie gonna explain to his family,
While they were on vacation taking in sights
He got wasted and killed a kid that night

Don't be a slave and behave the way they do,
Just utilize the gifts that God gave you [x4]

I knew this girl named Maria
Bright and talented
With aspirations to be a
Big superstar
What a great idea
Until she fell off and started to listening to her peers
Oh dear!
Now Maria was your typical obnoxious
Analytical head strong rebel
Flippin' off the principal
Single mother home structure
She looked after baby brother
While mom worked two jobs
Just to buy supper
Pops was a struggling musician
Troubled man,
Juggling family and heroin addiction
He overdosed and left a notice of eviction
And a crate of records on the table in the kitchen
And a little angel with a keen sense of sound
Who saw silence in the records she found
And she would stay up late at night
Reciting songs to herself
Under pale moonlight
Righting wrongs that her pops made,
Promised her mom she'd never go that same route
Turns out
Carrie Anne had other plans
Her and her man Ronnie most popular,
Second best to nobody
Homecoming queen versus ugly duckling
And the story ends the same way
OK, Ronnie's parents went away for a couple of days
And told him "No Drinking"
What the fuck were they thinking?
Maria was oblivious that her boyfriend had already been invited
So when Carrie Anne asked
She got all excited
Like "damn now I got something to look forward to"
Or so she thought
Maria kindly accepted,
She was finally accepted,
Except it was all bullshit
Now pay attention,
Carrie Anne hated Maria cause she could sing
So she scored a bag of heroin
But the craziest thing was
Maria never touched drugs, she did that night
And when her man was getting beat
She was nowhere in sight
Now her boyfriend lie in blood
And she had no idea
Alberto passed away and she got hooked her senior year
Needless to say
It was one one big tragedy
And I hate to break it but
It doesn't end happily
A warm day in May,
The sky was so beautiful
Carrie Anne died in a crash leaving the funeral

BABY DON'T CRY

because I certainty want to cry...This is my mantra for studying for finals and writing my final paper for my highly detested class LS 105. I actually don't love all of Tupac's work because I think some of it is demeaning to women, but this is a good song. It speaks to me. Listen to the mockingbird remix with Eminen. Its at the end of my playlist -->

Lyrical


[2Pac]
Now here's a story bout a woman with dreams
So picture perfect at thirteen, an ebony queen
Beneath the surface it was more than just a crooked smile
Nobody knew about her secret so it took a while
I could see a tear fall slow down her black cheek
Sheddin quiet tears in the back seat; so when she asked me,
"What would you do if it was you?"

Couldn't answer such a horrible pain to live through
I tried to trade places in the tragedy
I couldn't picture three crazed ni**az grabbin me
For just a moment I was trapped in the pain, Lord come and take me
Four ni**az violated, they chased and they raped me
Even though it wasn't me, I could feel the grief
Thinkin with your brains blown that would make the pain go
No! You got to find a way to survive
cause they win when your soul dies

[2Pac + H.E.A.T.]
Baby please don't cry, you got to keep your head up
Even when the road is hard, never give up
Baby don't cry, you got to keep your head up
Even when the road is hard, never give up
Baby don't cry, I hope you got your head up
Even when the road is hard, never give up {never give up}
Baby don't cry, I hope you got your head up {never give up}
Even when the road is hard, never give up
Baby don't cry

[Edi Amin]
Uhh
Forget him girl (forget him girl) he ain't gon' never change
ain't no hater but that ni**a lost in the game
After the bright lights and big thangs
he probably could loev you, but he in love with the struggle
Everyday, his mind on gettin mo' (gettin mo')
and never your feelings, he's chasin millions fo' sho'
Uh oh (uh oh), now you bout to have his baby? (dayamn)
Another wild-a*s ni**a that's gon' drive you crazy
You got too much, mo', livin to do - I'm spittin this to you,
cause you deserve more than what he givin to you (that's right)
Beautiful, black, precious, and complicated
A new millennium dime piece, so fine she
got em all stuck standin still when she come through
Baby take a little mo' time, love'll find you
And show us the sky's blue somebody other than me
gon' give you everything you need, feel me?


[Young Noble]
I'm tryin to do all that I can, from jump
Now you losin, you was choosin the wrong man
Dealt the wrong hand, you was young and beautiful
Lost and turned out, what you let that ni**a do to you? (Damn)
I knew her since elementary, she blew a kiss to me
Wrote me a note in crayon, wantin to get with me
We was kids, now she got three kids
They see their father e'ryday, and they don't know who he is
Seen him last night, homey roll a E-cla*s
Mad cheese in the stash, still a deadbeat dad
I bring her, Pampers and food, just to stop through
but those, ain't my seeds, nuttin really I could do (nah)
I feel pity for you, you ain't even his wife
Seventeen with three kids, locked down for life
Shoulda chose me, she bout to O.D. from the pressure
Hell nah I won't let her {BABY DON'T CRY}

Asian Woman

wrote this at the bart station before heading to SF. I wrote this initially about a friend of mine, whom shall go un-named. I realized as the piece unraveled that I can see her in me. I wonder if anyone else can relate.

Asian Woman

Your skin is the color of olive oil
yellow like the sun
sometimes pasty like snow
some days it is the tan that comes bottled and produced for white people
difficult to choose a shade isn't it?

Complacent Asian Women,
your voice squeaks like an infant's toy,
It is distinctly loud in it's quiet disposition
sometimes your voice becomes over-casted
by everyone elses',
but I know its there

your foot steps are light and hasty
as if to make yourself go unnoticed
you often shift your body from tight angles
to avoid taking up too much of other people's space

your body is always petite,
a pentacle for eroticism
not by choice, but the construction of
me love you long time trickery

your eyes are deep
and has witnessed the unthinkable,
their shapes are indefinitely defined,
almond, slanted, pitch black...

you like to conserve, to sacrifice,
you want to please everyone before yourself
you won't allow others to pity you
you give but you've forgotten to take

your hesitation perplexes me
your capabilities tucked neatly behind you
like a shy child behind her mother

Come out of your shell, shy child
The shadows in which you leave
can only do so much to validate your existence

The "Obama did it" syndrom

One day, I was walking home back from work on telegraph. I was going along my merry way when this black gentleman caught my attention via eye contact. I smile, like I usually do to anyone on the streets. He proceeded to follow me with his eyes and I proceeded to walk. Then he said to me, "you're beautiful, I'd love to take you out some time." I looked back and smiled to show my acknowledgment of his kind words and said "thank you" and went on walking hoping that he'd forget his proposition to "take me out". Finally he whips out the ultimate justification for why I should allow him to take me out: "well now that Obamas in the white house, you know things have changed, you should consider it".

What does one say to that?

To add to this phenomenon ...
I heard on the radio that P Diddy spent thousands of dollars to send in an audition tape to audition to be the next James Bond. Seriously? haha okay this is not to say that I can't imagine a black James bond, I actually think that it would be pretty hot. However, P diddy as an actor is a pretty extreme proposal to swallow.

I actually have another but Obama did it story. It involves a judge who was sided on the verdict of giving a heavy sentence to a restraining order defendant the day after obama was elected. The defendant was enraged and used the we have a black president now line to reprimand the judge's act against him. The Judge, whose name I will leave out was shocked, to say the least.


I think this "Obama did it" syndrome has potential to be trickled down to a more serious discourse by creating some oversight (or maybe as an effect, illuminating) some real big racial problems that exist today. I wonder why the guy on the street brought to my attention the Obama presidency success. Was it because he held the presumption that I would not give him a "chance" because of his color? And what are the implications of Obama's success on the way that African Americans see themselves in their day to day interactions with others today, has much changed before obama's election? These are the underlying questions I ponder...

Turning 22

Wrote this the day after my turning of age. Twenty two things I know thus far in me life:

1. The only person who can become your biggest enemy and your best friend, is yourself. No one else can love yourself more exponentially than you can. So often we expect things from others, objects of desire, human affection, but we seldom remember that it starts within ourselves to provide that nurture and self love.

2. Time is irreversible, I cannot live with regrets. Each and everything that’s happen for better or for worst has its essential value. Everything is a learning lesson, everything happens for a reason. Each minute, hr, day has meaning. Each day is a new one, with a new opportunity to do things differently from the last.

3. According to my strict rational thought pattern and my cost benefit analysis, being sad yields no utility. Each moment wasted on being sad is a moment that could have been potentially utilized for maximizing pleasure.

4. Theres a tendency within many people, including myself to take for granted the people that should be most dear to our hearts. Its easy to scrutinize the people around you for their every action and we seldom step back to give them the benefit of the doubt, and to give them credit for their greater purposes and intent.

5. There are some people who we just cannot compromise with, but the least we could do I respect them. If I gave into hatred every time I met someone who didn’t share my values, I would be defeating myself over and over again.

6. There is no such thing as not being able to live life without someone. Independence is a beauty in itself because self sustaining security is incomparable to any other security given by someone else. Knowing that you don’t NEED someone for survival, but you sure as hell wouldn’t mind sharing your life with someone is a beautiful thing.

7. Meekness is not a quality, being humble is. Why do we shy away from what we rightfully deserve while failing to recognize the qualities that we have?

8. There is no shame in admitting that I need help, we all need help. I used to sit idly and hope for help to come to me. I’ve learned the hard way that proactivity is a tactful quality necessary for success. Seek and you shall find.

9. There is nothing wrong with breaking some rules in life. Mistakes will be made, but we all can heal and maybe the outcome of our lessons can become greater than had we not made the mistakes.

10. I realized that asking for advice is a way of asking for confirmation of what I already know. I think most people take their own instincts for granted, but when in doubt, that’s the best thing to run with.

11. Ask questions, Ponder thoughts, express them.

12. The power to create is a gift. whether it be music, art, or a piece of letter to myself, there is no greater joy in knowing that I’ve extended a part of myself through another medium.

13. There will be hard times in life, but as long as we practice the law of attraction in motion with tangible goals and actions, things will be okay.

14. Fear is falsely self constructed most of the time.

15. Persistence and determination seldom fails.

16. I refuse to be typified..

17. Realism - we do exist and all exist for a reason.

18. Sometimes, integrity has to be compromised in the fluidity of our realizations.

19. “Not everything that shimmers, is gold” or some shit like that.

20. I apologize too much. I don’t take up enough space in the elevator. I am too soft spoken.

21. I reject any formula to life, to relationships, to success, but I know the process is one beautiful one.

22. If I were to leave the face of earth tomorrow, I hope that I could have contributed as much as I could of.

And yes, if you've read all of it, you probably notice I got lazier and lazier as the list went down. ekk 22 is a lot ...time to buy wrinkle cream.